The Equestrian’s Guide to Staying Married
That’s me. The woman in the trench coat and dark glasses trying not to be noticed.
I’m not proud of what I’m doing, but I’m trying to stay married.
Perhaps you’ll judge me. Or perhaps you’ve been there.
I know there are services that can provide what I need but it’s really not in my budget.
Sure, I could throw my barn laundry into the washer at home, but that’s where the ‘staying married’ part comes in. My husband cringes (and worse) at the sight of a saddle pad anywhere near our not-even-new washer/dryer.
I comb my dirty saddle pads with my dog’s slicker brush, taking out as much hair as possible. I spray them with Oxy Clean (who may want to sponsor me) and sometimes even hose them off before throwing them in the wash. But you know how bad saddle pads can get.
That’s why I’m sneaking into the laundromat, saddle pads hidden in a Kirkland Draw-String Trashbag (they may want to sponsor me, as well) , planning to wash them in one of the large, commercial washers.
I bring my own Kirkland laundry soap, Brawny paper towels, and some 409 All-Purpose Spray (sponsor, anyone?) to wipe out the washer after the deed is done. I do have a conscience. I think of the new mom washing her newborn’s clothes and hope she’ll choose a different washer.
In an ideal world, I’d have a commercial washer of my own, right next to my Grand Prix horse’s stall, just off my full-size indoor competition arena. In fact, my handsome stable boy would be loading it for me!
Please linger on that fantasy and look the other way as I commit a mild misuse of commercial equipment in the name of staying married.Thank you!