dressage, horses, humor

Men like Machines, Women love Horses

“What is it about women and horses?,” my non-horse friends ask. “I just don’t get it.”
I have a theory, but it’s untested, so perhaps it’s only a conjecture. Regardless, I can sum it up by saying that men like machines. They love the reliability of having an object respond to them consistently (unlike their wives) and without any fuss. Turn the key and the motorcycle, car, boat, or plane starts. Step on the gas and it goes. Your vehicle reliably turns in the direction you prefer. Press the brake and it stops.

If you need reliability, get a motorcycle. If you want a relationship, get a horse.

If you need reliability, get a motorcycle. If you want a relationship, get a horse.


Machines are clean, neat, and simple compared to horses and other living beings.
Unlike machines, horses have opinions, personalities, good days, and bad days. Even the best trained horse will have inconsistencies. Some days the brakes work really well, other days you need a firmer hand and perhaps a bigger bit. On a good day your horse will promptly respond to a gentle leg aid. If he’s not so keen, you literally need to give him the boot.
Every once in a while, you’ll wonder where your horse’s brain went: out the window with the wind, back in the barn aisle where lunch is being served, or perhaps visiting that cute mare who just arrived last week. Sometimes, just getting your horse’s attention is the biggest challenge you’ll face.
A machine is a tool. A horse is a relationship.
Your motorcycle may do what you tell it, but will it come to you in the pasture or nicker at the sight of you? Will you ever have a sense that your motorcycle loves its work?
The woman/horse love affair suggests that women enjoy the challenge of a relationship — an appreciation of the simple joys of compromise and understanding. When your 1,000 pound horse responds to a half-halt or a shift in your riding position, there’s nothing like it. This relationship of trust and respect between two species is nothing short of magical.
May the coming year bring this magic into your life, with a better sense of communication and caring between you and your horse. If your man is out in the garage with his motorcycle (car, boat, or plane), bring him a sandwich, so he doesn’t feel neglected.