dressage, equestrian, horsewomen, margaritas, stallions

Barn Women Get Weird

One of the things I most like about horsewomen is that they’re not afraid to get their hands dirty. Or their mouths. It is perfectly acceptable for horsewomen to talk about semen, for example. Nonhorsewomen generally don’t discuss semen outside of a gynecologist’s office.

I threw a little happy hour get-together last week and invited several women from the barn. Seven women and 26 limes resulted in the consumption of 72 ounces of margaritas. The discussions ranged far and wide but the highlight of the evening came when Tina gave us a reenactment of her stallion’s day of semen collection.


Using several bar-b-que skewers to represent rails, a cucumber slice to stand in for the ‘plain as day Quarterhorse mare’, and a bit of chicken satay to show the relative placement of the ‘phantom,’ Tina gave a lively recap of the day’s events. Let’s just say her young stallion had a little trouble getting things right. Thank goodness for the two burly guys on hand who got things corrected. It’s dangerous work.

My next-door-neighbor had stopped in to visit and was amazed and amused. She’d previously had no idea how this deed was done. Fortunately, as a nurse, she’s not squeamish. “Wow! I like these women,” she said.

It’s so refreshing to get beyond polite chit-chat, politics, and the weather. Thanks to horses, our lives are anything but dull.